Have you ever felt F-I-N-E (I’m talkin’ ‘bout CUTE and you know it) before leaving the house, all to have that feeling vanish when you’re around someone who has “better” style than you? I know this feeling all too well because in college it became a major issue for me.
On more occasions than I’d like to admit I’d leave the house with my head held high, but have that confidence quickly diminish when I encountered someone with more upscale taste. The trendy accessories I so proudly adorned myself with suddenly felt cheap and tacky in the presence of girls with posh, sophisticated taste. My rainbow rhinestone earrings no longer felt fun, but kitschy and my glitter lip gloss seemed immature. In those moments, as I grew increasingly aware of everything I was wearing and how wrong it seemed, I’d shrink back in intimidation and wish I could disappear.
Can you relate? Can’t we all on some level?
How do we break free of this cycle though? Why do we allow something to trivial to steal our confidence? Just because we have different tastes or preferences than others, shouldn’t make us feel inferior to them. In no way have I mastered the feat of constant confidence (if that’s even possible), but I have made a strong effort to by the way I approach others.
Below are three methods I started practicing since my college days that help steady my confidence. Most of the time they work pretty well for me. Even though I still sometimes get a wave of insecurity, I set my mind back on track by remembering these methods:
Not everyone has the same style and not everyone will appreciate the innovative or quirky things you wear, and that’s perfectly fine! As long as you feel confident in what you’re wearing and how you look, that’s all that really matters. Admiring someone else’s style and being inspired by it is great, just as long as that admiration doesn’t turn into you doubting your style and preferences. If you find yourself starting to compare, throw your shoulders back and cling to that confidence you had when you looked in the mirror before!
So often, we turn life into an unnecessary, and sometimes unhealthy, contest. We put judgmental words in others’ mouths by assuming our imaginative thoughts are exactly what they’re thinking. We interpret their silence as criticism and tell ourselves their compliments have Regina George undertones. Whhhhhy?! It all boils down to our insecurities. If others are silently criticizing you for what you feel good in, so what? What matters more– their opinion or your confidence? Stop the process of letting your thoughts run wild with lies and hurts that no one has even spoken.
The most important part of all this is to just OWN IT! Whatever ~it~ is… your big hair, your bold lipstick, your chunky rainbow bracelets, your funky, nonprescription glasses..
When you feel good, you look good! If that means you like something that most people don’t, do it anyway. You wanna put every color from that Morphe palette on your eyes? Do it. Wanna be over the top with accessories? BE OVER THE TOP! You wanna crimp your hair because it makes you feel like a mermaid? Go ahead! Whatever your preference, sport it. Don’t shrink back and allow yourself to feel intimidated when you encounter someone that might not like or appreciate your style. Ignore those looks of disdain you thought you saw and the lies in your mind that tell you you stick out like a sore thumb.
You’re unique and cute, and people will remember your fun and adventurous style.
Here’s a little style spill for you: I love thick mascara. I feel more confident with thick layer(s) of mascara versus a thin, single layer. Call me ~spider lashes~ all day long and I won’t care because I feel good with them thick. A thin layer might look better, but I don’t feel better about myself with just a thin layer. It’s like with each coat of mascara I apply, I’m applying a layer of confidence. That sounds kinda crazy, but it’s true!
When we own how we look with confidence, we’re not only boosting our self-esteem, but we may very well be inspiring someone who is drowning in their insecurities to do the same.
So, stop comparing and analyzing and just wear what makes you happy! Now, I’m not saying confidence is predominately based off our outer appearances, but I 100% believe looking good helps bump it up a few notches. We carry ourselves differently when we’re confident with how we look, and that confidence will shine through and be a better accessory than any swanky item you could find at a boutique. I’d like to leave you this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:
accessFebruary 1, 2021
Having read this I believed it was rather informative. I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this information together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it! Alexia Forbes Devol