Wedding season is here; however this year, as we all know, it’s VASTLY different. Although many brides are understandably crushed at having to cancel or postpone their wedding til further notice, I see this as a HUGE opportunity. This time to slow down and put everything in perspective is just the ~2020~ vision we ALL needed! Brides, hear me out. You totally have a right to be disappointed, but look at this window of time as a chance to examine your wedding plans and change, cut out, or add anything! Typically, brides are in a whirlwind of planning and worrying to death about running out of time, but you’ve got time to spare! Now, what can you change for the better? How can you use this time to your advantage? To put things into perspective, below are five regrets I have about my wedding. I hope you consider them when pondering your wedding plans whether you’re having to reschedule or are just diving into the bustle of it all.
5 Regrets I Have About My Wedding Day
Starting out, I said I wanted an early afternoon wedding so we could get away with just serving cake and punch. Simple and inexpensive. The wedding was about me and Dalton and if our guests were hungry, they could go get dinner afterward. I quickly changed my tune after attending several weddings during my planning phase. I had so much more to realistically compare to. After being a guest at those gorgeous, accommodating weddings, and knowing some of those same guests would be at our wedding, I decided I wanted to be equally impressive. I ended up landing on a late afternoon wedding so I could provide a nice dinner for our guests (I didn’t want to look like the cheapskate!). Assuming everyone else would compare our wedding to all the others they had attended, my comparison meter continued to rise.
2.) Obsessing Over Guests
Somewhere in my planning, I nearly became obsessed with making sure my guests would be satisfied. Convenient time of day, check. Beautiful venue with AC, check. Amazing food, check. I was so worried about my guests being happy and comfortable. I didn’t want anyone to have anything negative to say or complain about. Instead of planning a fun celebration, my focus shifted and I became zoned in on what I thought would satisfy our guests. This focus intensified and I developed a mindset that our wedding was a huge inconvenience to everyone and I wanted to do everything I could to make them feel like it was worth attending. But you know what, some people are always going to find SOMETHING to complain about. And so what? Is the wedding for them, or for you and your future husband? Weddings are an unnecessary celebration. They’re just for fun, so make sure YOU and your groom are the ones having fun!
3.) Taking An Excessive Amount of Pictures
This one actually does make me cringe when I think back. Some of our guests said they had fun dancing at our wedding. Dancing? I don’t remember anyone dancing. THAT’S BECAUSE DALTON AND I WERE OUTSIDE TAKING PICTURES FOR HOURS. You read that right. I wanted to remember the best day of my life, and apparently that meant abandoning the party to take a million pictures I’d hardly ever look at. I have unbelievable wedding pictures…
…but if the day was all about pictures, why did I have a reception to begin with? Was I just throwing a party for my guests? Seemed like it. Dalton and I were hardly there to enjoy any of the things I, and so many others, planned for MONTHS. Please, don’t do this. Pictures are great, but the best ones are candid where you’re actually enjoying yourself, each other, and all the loved ones you invited.
4.) Not Setting A Budget
Unless you’ve been helping others plan their wedding, it’s kind of hard to set a budget because you just don’t know how much flowers, a dress, a venue, food etc. actually costs. It’s always more than you think. If you do some research and call around to get quotes, you’ll quickly get a sense of what a realistic budget looks like for you. Stick to the budget and remember that no one will even remember your wedding. I’m serious. AND if you have family that is helping you pay for the wedding, please respect the budget they’ve set for you and don’t guilt-trip them into giving you more. (btw I didn’t do that part! lol)
5.) Focusing Too Much On the Details
Our wedding colors were a variety of pastel hues. I remember the night before the wedding wondering if it looked like an Easter theme, or if the yellow and lavender roses would remind people of a pastel LSU (we are in the South after all). In that moment, I got a glimpse of how I was WAY too wrapped up in the wedding part of it. Why was I worrying about flower colors the night before getting married instead of looking forward to the next day when I would marry my best friend? I think because weddings are built up to be this huge THING that is a reflection of us and we’re scared of being judged by what we’ve selected. ‘If this looks dumb, they’re going to make fun of it and judge me.’ BABY. GIRL. Let me just say, WHO CARES? Please don’t let it be you. Don’t care. Select what makes you happy and if you end up not liking it, but can’t change it because it’s too late, just let it roll. Even though it may feel like the end of the world, don’t sweat it one bit.
Like I said, weddings have turned into such a huge THING. I am all about having a party to celebrate love and marriage, but at what cost? Now is the time to get the right perspective and plan a fun, memorable, stress-free party! It is what you make it. You’ll run into obstacles, but if you’ve got the right perspective (ahem that 20/20 vision) you won’t let those obstacles stress you out or weigh you down. I’m begging you, please don’t compare or try to impress. Everyone has an opinion and if you and your groom are happy and under/on budget, YOU DO YOU. Take this time and use it wisely. Make sure you and your groom are happy and truly enjoy the day—however you choose to spend it. This is all about celebrating the two of you, and if anyone has complaints hopefully you’ll never find out about them.
I hope you take these regrets I have about my wedding day into consideration so you can have a little more fun at your wedding than I did! Ultimately, have confidence in the things you select and push all insecurities and self-doubt to the side and HAVE FUN!